


Shatter the Ice

by NMJ



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Flashbacks, Memory Loss, Ninjago stop being a coward and let Zane talk about his trauma, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person, Panic Attacks, Rewrite of Ice Chapter "Awakenings", Spoilers for Ninjago Season 11: Ice Chapter, Zane Julien has PTSD- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, he needs rest and closure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24381925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NMJ/pseuds/NMJ
Summary: A rewrite of the Ice Chapter Finale "Awakenings," starting from Akita's attack.A more detailed update on the Ice Emperor's fall, a more satisfying ending to Vex the Formless, and a look into Zane's mental state after his time in the Never Realm comes to a close.
Relationships: Lloyd Garmadon & Zane, Ninja Team & Zane (Ninjago), P.I.X.A.L./Zane (Ninjago)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 90





	1. Awakenings

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: Panic attack, discussions of Genocide and bloodshed, changes between past and present moments (italicized for clarity)

The Ice Emperor was lost in his thoughts, as it seemed he spent most of his time with his head lowered and neon eyes closed in contemplation. His loyal second-in-command, Vex, was off patrolling his castle of ice, fearful of enemies constantly lurking in the shadows ready to strike and kill the Emperor at any moment. Twelve moons had passed since he had first awoken in the cavern, lost, confused, but not alone. Vex had always been by his side, guiding him, advising him, warning him of traitors and coup d’états, leading his army of Ice Samurai and master swordsmen. 

The Ice Emperor had a secret wish, one that he knew he could never speak, never let the words brush past his masked lips; he wanted to go outside, he wanted to see the world that he ruled over, he wanted to feel warmth for the first time. All he had ever known was the cold covering his metallic skin, the ice chaining him to his scepter frozen in his right hand, the ice molding over his arms from his throne, and the ice in his heart. He longed to feel the sun wash over him, to feel the fire that kept humans alive- but Vex would never allow it. He is under constant surveillance by the guards posted outside of the throne room, through the corridors, even posted outside of the castle. Any step he takes is noted and watched over like the massive avian guarding the cavern where he had first awoken. 

His thoughts shifted to the boy in green- what was his name? _Did he ever actually say his name?_ The teen, seemingly no older than seventeen or eighteen, was adamant that he knew the Ice Emperor, yet he had no memories of him. There was a strange echo inside of his heart at his pleading voice, a small part of him truly wanted to believe that the boy knew him- perhaps he did, he _was_ missing a massive part of his life…? Maybe he could go talk to him, he was locked several floors below in the dungeon with the Formling. He shook his head, though his eyes remained closed; what a stupid idea, he scolded himself. There was no way he could talk to the prisoner even if he wanted to. Every guard would stop him and ask why he was outside the throne room, worried about his safety, then word would make it to Vex who would refuse to leave his side no matter how much he protested. Besides, how could he know he could believe the teen in green? There was no proof that he could think of that would even allow him to even question the teen. 

His sensors picked up the sound of raining glass behind him, perhaps the cold had become too much for the window to handle and shattered. But what if it was someone coming to kill him, just as Vex warned? The Ice Emperor struggled to open his frozen eyes, his sensors now picking up the sounds of weapons clashing and clanging outside of the main doorway, as if bodies were being thrown against the ancient wood. Breaths, soft panting, only a few feet away from where he sat caught his attention- his head shot up with a gasp, the thin layer of ice covering his eyes shattered like the glass only a few moments before. 

A knife gleamed in the overhead light, screaming for his blood as its owner recoiled in surprise at his sudden awakening, but recoiling only for a moment. The woman lunged forth, fanged teeth bared in a guttural scream, and aimed at his exposed neck. The Ice Emperor swung his scepter, quickly deciding not to freeze her midair, and felt the ice-covered end of the scepter collide with her abdomen with a sickening thud. Tumbling momentarily through the air, she crashed down the icy staircase rolling and crying out before coming to a skidding stop near the center of the room, her dagger discarded a few feet away from where she lay.

Ice crackled and rained to the ground as the Ice Emperor stood to his full six-foot height, feeling the power of the scepter flow through his veins with each descending step towards the woman with three white and red tails. “Who are you?” he asked, his voice slow and echoed like thunder. 

The woman got to her knees, teeth still bared and eyes burning with fury and hatred. “My name is Akita!” she spat. 

“Akita…” The name rolled and curled off of his tongue as if contemplating the very existence of the word. “Another rebel thief? A traitor come to steal my scepter?”

“I came for revenge!”

The Ice Emperor tilted his head, feeling a joint pop from neglected use. “Revenge? For what?” What could this woman- _Akita_ \- want from him? He may rule with an iron ice-covered fist but he believed that he was leading the Never Realm into a time of prosperity. 

Akita was now to her feet. “For my brother, Kataru, and for the suffering of my people- the Formlings!”

A memory registered inside the Ice Emperor’s head from about eleven moons past; Vex had come to him claiming that a tribe of Formlings many kilometers south of the castle’s location were planning on overthrowing and killing him. _“The Formlings are war-mongers, bloodthirsty beasts who look out only for themselves. They see you as a threat to their home, a pathway to gain control over the Never Realm. You must not show weakness, you must end their reign of terror and quell the paths of destruction they lay before they come to kill you.”_

“I have heard of the Formlings. Vex told me your people are war-mongers, cruel and barbaric.” 

Akita’s hair seemed to stand on its end, narrowing her eyes she hissed, “And you believed him.”

The Ice Emperor was ready for her attack the moment she took her first step; feeling the addicting power flow through his veins, coursing through his body before entering the staff. He swung the scepter and felt a surge of ice escape through the tip, covering Akita’s left hand and the dagger in a block thick enough to keep her immobilized for the job to be finished. He knew this would be enough to show Vex he can handle himself, that he didn’t need to be under constant surveillance, that he could see the outside once more. Just as the tip of the scepter hovered only a few inches above Akita’s chest, the throne room doors burst open as the teen in green burst through, his fists ready to fight. 

“It’s time we finished this, Zane,” the teen said, keeping his gaze locked directly with the Ice Emperor’s. “Once and for all.”

The Ice Emperor slammed the base of the scepter onto the ground with a resounding thunderous bang. He was sick of that name, he was getting sick of the teen, and he was getting sick of constantly rebutting his own title. “My name is not Zane!”

“Yes it is!” the teen rebuked, taking several steps forward. “And you’re going to remember it even if I have to knock it into your thick nindroid skull!”

_Nindroid?_

Akita glanced at the teen, her eyes no longer holding the same amount of righteous fury instead lost in confusion. “You… know the Emperor?!”

The teen turned to her, seemingly both ignoring and focusing him standing only a few feet away. “He’s not an emperor, he’s my friend- he’s who I’m here to rescue! It’s hard to explain, but I can’t let you hurt him, Akita.”

Akita snarled and, with surprising strength that caught the Ice Emperor off-guard, shattered the ice holding down her left arm. She lunged forward and snapped, “My will is not yours to command!”

The teen grabbed her and halted her lunge, completely letting his guard down to the Emperor still behind him. “Akita, no! This isn’t the way! You’re letting your anger control you!”

Akita struggled to push the teen away, staring at the Ice Emperor who was getting rather tired of this charade in front of him. “Stand aside Lloyd-“ _So that was the teen’s name._ “-Or fall with him!”

“I won’t let you hurt Zane!” Lloyd cried. That name, that name was the last straw. He raised the scepter once more and swung as hard as he could, striking Lloyd against his side with a sickening yet also satisfying crack. He flew across the throne room and tumbled head over heels across the floor, coming to a skidding rest at least thirty feet away. 

“There is no Zane!” the Ice Emperor roared. Slamming the center of the staff into Akita’s chest, he was able to momentarily stun the Formling before sending an uppercut to the underneath area of her jaw. Akita stumbled back and with one final strike to her chest collapsed onto the floor. He needed to end this once and for all- 

Lloyd blocked the final blast of ice with a strange green tornado, deflecting the ice around the fallen Formling. Akita scrambled back as the Ice Emperor called off the ice, deciding instead to fight the annoyance hand to hand. Any hit on Lloyd would be beyond satisfying; he swung his fist but Lloyd dropped and missed his attack by a breath-

_He was on a ship in the middle of a wide lake, blurs of colors and voices shouting and laughing engulfed him. A young boy with wild blond hair smiled at him, he appeared way too young to be fighting. His grin stretched from ear to ear, revealing a missing front tooth yet he did not seem to mind. The child bounced from side to side with his fists near his chest. “Come on, Zane! I can handle it! If I’m to be the Legendary Ultimate Hero of All of Ninjago, I need to practice.”_

_A warm honey-like laugh came from his right, a voice called out, “He’s been the Green Ninja for two days and it’s already gone to his head.”_

_The child turned to the voice and huffed, sticking out his bottom lip in a pout, “Don’t be a meanie, Kai! I just want a fair fight!”_

_“Then we’d have to shrink Zane and tie one of his arms behind his back,” a surprisingly deep voice laughed from his left._

_“Maybe tie both hands and blindfold him,” a lighter voice added, also to his left, while earning laughter from the previous two._

_A woman’s cleared her throat, “Boys, you need to give him a chance. It’s okay, Zane. You know your limits.”_

_He looked back at the child as he returned to his fighting position; feeling laughter bubble up from the depths of his chest, he chuckled, “All right, Lloyd. Let’s get started.”_

The Ice Emperor stumbled back, blinking wildly as the sudden images faded away quickly being replaced by the present moments. He felt his breath begin to hitch as Lloyd raced towards him, his emerald eyes matching that of the child in his vision. The Ice Emperor panicked, sending a blast of ice at the rapidly approaching fighter; Lloyd managed to deflect it and fired at him with his own strange energy. He leaned back to avoid a punch, stumbling backward before regaining his posture. He twisted his body out of the way, grunting from the armor digging into his chest, and fired another blast of ice at Lloyd who was now sprinting as fast as he could away from the rampant fire. 

The Ice Emperor had to admit he was surprised to watch Lloyd sprint up one of the pillars to avoid the spires of ice biting at his heels. If the fight continued for much longer the whole throne room would be engulfed in the black ice. Lloyd, rather impressively, twisted his body and leaped off of the pillar, rivaling the ray of icy energy with his own mysterious green power-

_He was back on the ship, but this time it was flying over a city? Ships do not fly, he tried to reason, but somehow he felt that this one did. The colors he had seen previously were all there once more, but this time there were others that he could not recognize. The new colors were clashing with the familiar ones in battles, the gleaming of weapons seemed to blind him in the afternoon light. A strong kick to his back knocked him down to the next level of the deck, he rolled over and saw the same child as before- Lloyd- landed where he once stood. The honey-like voice called out, “Lloyd, don’t! Your powers are too uncontrollable!”_

_Lloyd was engulfed in a sphere of energy, but as he tried to throw the ball at their opponents it strangely went backward and struck the mast, cracking it in half. He and the others screamed as the mast crashed down on top of them._

“Wake up, Zane!” Lloyd’s voice cried as he swung at his face once more. 

The Ice Emperor reared back and slammed the scepter into Lloyd’s back, causing the emerald teen to collapse to the floor with a sharp cry; with his one free hand, he grabbed one of Lloyd’s ankles and started to spin gathering enough speed before releasing his grip. Lloyd soared through the air and crashed into the frozen stairwell leading to his throne. Feeling a surge of power flow through him once again, he created a crescendo of ice covering most of Lloyd’s body leaving only his head exposed, vulnerable and easy to strike. He couldn’t help it- the Ice Emperor let out a laugh, a cackle really. He finally got the annoyance out of the way! Now all he had to do was-

“Lloyd!”

Right. He forgot about the Formling. The Ice Emperor barely had time to dodge out of the way from the dagger Akita stupidly threw at his head. Did she not realize that she just voluntarily gave up her only weapon while announcing her surprise attack? With one final blast of his scepter, he completely froze the bloodthirsty vengeful Formling in a thick block of ice- one that she could not break out of. Satisfied, he turned back to Lloyd, ready to end this whole troubling night. 

Lloyd had cried out as Akita was frozen, fear overflowing in his trembling voice. “Zane, please!”

_It was nighttime on this familiar ship. He was in a cabin underneath the deck, tucked in a bed with bluish-white blankets. Loud snoring rumbled through the room, he had a feeling that it was coming from the man dressed in black. Red was also snoring but not as loud, and Blue drooled in his sleep with the occasional snore and snort. A thunderstorm shook the ship as it sailed through the air; another bolt of lightning and crack of thunder rocked the ancient boat as footsteps sprinted through the hallway outside the cabin. The door opened and Lloyd stepped inside, trembling like a soaked cat with eyes as big as one._

_“Zane? Are you awake?” he whispered._

_He couldn’t help but smile, “Yes I am. Are you all right, Lloyd?”_

_“I… mscrd…”_

_“What was that?”_

_Lloyd approached his bed and spoke a little louder, but not enough to wake the others, “I’m scared of storms.”_

_He scooted backward until his back hit the wooden wall behind him, pulling the comforter up as an invitation for warmth. Lloyd scuttled into the bed and curled up against his chest, thankful to be in the arms of his recently adopted family. “When Dad visited me at Darkley’s when he was a shadow, he told me about how he was banished to the Underworld.”_

_He had heard stories from Wu about that fateful battle; Garmadon had been consumed by his lust for the Golden Weapons and the power they possessed only about nine months after Lloyd was born. He and Wu had battled for the ownership of the weapons, Garmadon was ready to strike Wu down but due to some mystical energy in the kimono Wu was wearing, Garmadon was struck by lightning and fell off of the cliff the monastery resided on. Wu said that the cries he heard from Lloyd only moments after Garmadon fell haunted him to that day._

_“He told me that he lost control of himself, that he forgot how much he loved me when the darkness inside overtook him. He told me that he was struck by lightning during the fight with Uncle and the next thing he knew he was in the Underworld.” Lloyd buried his face into his chest. “The first time I got to see him, he cried. He told me how much he missed me, that he was so sorry that he left me, and that when he returned the first thing he was going to do was hug me.”_

_He let out a soft chuckle and ran his fingers through Lloyd’s hair, “No one can deny how much your father cares for you. He ran headfirst into a volcano for you, battling Serpentine and even bringing an army of Skulkin to aid you against Pythor. And you know what, Lloyd?” He looked up at him with those shimmering emerald eyes. “The first thing your father did when he got you out of that cage? He hugged you. He truly cares for you, Lloyd, just as much as the rest of us.”_

_Lloyd smiled, just as the deep voice grumbled, “Don’t forget how much he pestered us while we searched for you. I never want to see someone brush their teeth with a file ever again.”_

_The pair burst out laughing, earning grumbles and flying pillows in their directions._

The Ice Emperor shook his head, pushing away those interfering thoughts. He snarled and aimed the staff at Lloyd’s head and snapped, “I told you, there is no Zane!”

The doors opened with a thunderous groan, he recognized Vex’s heavy footsteps mixing with several swordsmen and samurai. “Do it, Master!” Vex urged, his voice obvious with excitement and lust for bloodshed. “Finish it!”

Lloyd looked back at the Ice Emperor and pleaded one last time, “Zane!”

_A child stared back at him, emerald eyes shimmering with tears as he revealed a skinned knee. The child sat on the counter in the kitchen, licking a spoon covered in cake batter. The child waved at him from on top of a four-headed dragon. The child, no longer a child now a teen, stood beside the bones of a dinosaur that had hunted them down. The teen glowed golden in the center of a temple. The teen… was his family._

The Ice Emperor shook his head, lost in feelings of confusion and despair. What were these memories in his head, where were they coming from? He lowered his scepter away from Lloyd- he couldn’t do it. He didn’t know if he truly was the Ice Emperor or if he really was… Zane?

Vex pushed him aside and grabbed a nearby warrior’s sword, chuckling darkly as he pointed the blade at Lloyd’s throat, “Some savior you turned out to be. You couldn’t defeat the Emperor, you couldn’t save your friends, and you couldn’t even protect yourself.”

The Ice Emperor stumbled back as an arrow of fire shot through his heart; the single word echoed, thundered, roared, pounded inside his head. Protect. Protect. Protect. Protect those... “Protect those… who cannot… protect themselves…”

_Laughter. Hugs. Warmth. Smiles. A family. A kindly man greeted him as he adjusted his glasses- his father, Nicholi Julien. An old man sipping tea underneath a frozen lake, giving him a rather cheeky smile- Master Wu. Meeting a teen with obsidian hair and gloomy eyes- his oldest friend, Cole Brookstone. A second teen with auburn hair and an electric voice- his funniest friend, Jay Walker-Gordon. A third teen dressed in red pajamas and spiked hair unlike anything he’s ever seen- his feisty friend, Kai Smith. A young woman in a torn, slightly singed and dirtied kimono outside a temple at a volcano- his strongest friend, Nya Smith. A child holding onto him the first time the ship takes off through the air- his beloved friend, Lloyd Garmadon._

_Dragons, temples, skeletons, snakes (too many to count), cultists (strangely twice), ghosts (also twice), and Oni. A woman with fiery red hair and an attitude to match- Skylor Chen. A gray-haired woman holding onto a gray-haired man with an aged, exhausted smile- Misako and Master Garmadon. A monastery on top of a mountain beyond the barrier of clouds, several variants of the legendary flying ship the Destiny’s Bounty, two apartments in the capital city, a floating temple, a monastery by a waterfall, a tower cascading over the city glowing neon in the night._

_A woman with hair like spun moonlight, skin purer white than the freshly fallen snow, eyes brighter than the noon sun yet gentler than the softest touch. With laughter that could brighten the darkest of days, a spirit that could not be broken even in the face of death and heartbreak, and a passion for protecting that rivaled his family’s- his one true love, the woman he gave half of his literal heart to, the woman who watched him die but saw him reborn anew. Pixal Borg, I love you._

Zane came crashing back to the present with a gasp, stumbling back a few feet as reality reasserted itself around him- Vex had been in the cavern with him when he was running the diagnostic scan on the mech. Vex had tampered with the cord. Vex stole his memories. Vex… wanted him to cause genocides. Vex wanted bloodshed, he did not care about the damage he caused, he only wanted power. 

Zane’s head shot up as Vex readied the sword at Lloyd’s throat, unable to move because of the ice _he_ created. “Vex, stop!” Zane screamed. Ice surged through his veins as he wildly swung the cursed scepter at the traitor, at his manipulator. Spears and spires of corrupted ice erupted from the ground, impaling Vex to the wall while somehow making sure he wasn’t injured or killed. He didn’t want any more bloodshed on his hands. He tore off his helmet and armor, discarding the relics of his cursed past and, with a swipe of the scepter, melted the ice that covered his beloved brother. 

With tears in his eyes, Lloyd sat up and choked out, “I knew you’d remember! I knew it!”

Zane collapsed to his knees, dropping the now melted scepter beside him; he pulled Lloyd into the tightest hug he could muster and started to sob. “I’m so sorry, Lloyd! I’m so sorry! I could’ve killed you! I could’ve injured you! I did hurt you! Oh, Lloyd, I can never forgive myself!”

Lloyd wrapped his arms around Zane’s trembling body and smiled, “You weren’t you, Zane. This wasn’t your fault. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but I know you need to hear this; I forgive you. I forgive you for everything. You are still the same Zane I have come to see as my brother, the same Zane who died to protect us, the same Zane who cooks us amazing, mouthwatering meals-“

“But I caused so much damage!” Zane sobbed, releasing Lloyd. His hands tangled themselves into his slightly dampened hair, tugging and pulling as his thoughts began to rage, his breath quickened into a panicked frenzy. Zane felt his body begin to rock involuntarily, trembling and shaking- he allowed the yeti race to be killed, he allowed Boreal to freeze the villagers of the lake, he watched Boreal freeze the village of the Formlings and did nothing to stop it, he sent the samurai to fight for him, he drove people from their homes, he did this, he did this he did this he did this He was a monster he had blood on his hands that would never wash off how could he be a ninja now how could he face his family knowing that he caused them pain that he almost killed Lloyd dear FSM he almost killed Lloyd without hesitation the soldiers are still under his control people were still frozen he had to unfreeze them why wasn’t he moving move Zane Move! Move! MOVE!

Lloyd held Zane’s face and pressed their foreheads together, “Zane, listen to me! Focus on me! We will help you through this! Please, Zane, it will be okay!”

Zane momentarily relaxed his unstable grip to hold onto Lloyd once more, feeling his spiraling train of thought glow ever so slightly calmer at the warmth his brother emitted. How he missed the warmth of his family, the warmth of love, the warmth of being unconditionally loved. He relished on the feeling, allowing his body to relax in Lloyd’s hold. Zane did not know how much time had passed before he felt stable enough to move; with Lloyd’s help, he stood and felt the power of the scepter flow through his veins once more. He could feel the ice he had created across the realm, the heartbeats of the Formlings and the villagers he had frozen, the frozen ravines, and, strangely, the Ice Behemoth he had created to fight Lloyd still struggling at the bottom of the lake. He swung the scepter and felt a shockwave explode from the scepter, crackling and shattering the ice across the realm and freeing the enslaved soldiers both around the castle or across the lands. 

Akita collapsed to the floor as she gasped for air; the soldiers fell to their knees as their bodies became their own once again, Zane felt as if he could breathe for the first time in a year. He was himself, he had no one controlling him, he was controlling no one, he was Zane once again. A heavy sigh escaped his lips as the tip of the scepter tapped the ground, feeling like a hundred-pound weight in his hand; Zane was beyond ready to rid himself of the cursed staff and the tainted power it possessed. 

“You monster!” Vex screamed from his pinned position against the wall. “You ruined everything! I should’ve killed you while I had the chance!”

_You ruined everything. You ruined everything!_ “You ruined everything!” Zane screamed back, tightening his grip on the staff. He could feel the power surge through his veins once again, but he did not care. “You manipulated me! You turned me into a genocidal monster! You took my memories away from me, you took my family from me!” He thundered towards Vex, relishing in the cowardice clear in his beady eyes. Spires and spears of ice manifested around his feet as the neon blue fire erupted over his hair. “You are the reason innocent blood stains my hands! You are the monster, you are nothing but lies and manipulation in your sad, pathetic life. You revel in the pain and the suffering of others, uncaring of the lives being torn apart by your hands-“ A spire of ice erupted from the ground, aimed directly at the center of Vex’s throat, only a centimeter away from his quivering Adam’s apple. “One wrong move, Vex, and this spire can pierce through your neck without a moment’s hesitation.”

A hand rested on Zane’s shoulder, pulling his attention away from the coward pinned to the wall. Lloyd’s eyes pleaded with him without a word said; no matter how much he wished for Vex to pay for his crimes here and now, he knew he could not allow for another drop of blood on his hands. The spire crumbled as the Ninja rushed into the throne room, and Zane was finally surrounded by his beloved family after a year of isolation and fear. Zane was finally going home.


	2. Talking to Sorla and Facing his Fears

Zane did not know which of the Ninja were first to engulf him in a hug, all he could feel were the numerous limbs crushing him from all angles and Jay’s sobbing into his shoulder. Zane let out a soft hum and closed his eyes, resting his head on the top of the nearest person (he could tell it was Kai due to the faint smell of cherry blossoms he used in his conditioner). 

“Let’s find another room to catch up in,” Lloyd said from Zane’s left. The group unanimously agreed with murmurs and mumbles, but as they approached the throne room doors, Cole glanced back at Vex still pinned to the wall. 

“What do we do with him?”

“We can deal with him later, or Grimfax can handle it,” Lloyd said, ushering everyone out of the room. Zane could still feel Vex’s burning gaze on his retreating back, unconsciously tightening his grip on the scepter still in his hand. 

*

“…Nya ripped out the breaks on the Land Bounty and started whacking the control panel with a wrench!” Kai laughed after catching a glare from the water ninja.

“I didn’t see you trying to help,” Nya retorted with a smirk. 

“I was offering moral support, thank you very much!”

Zane felt unbelievably happy to be back with his family, but he could only force a smile; his family had risked their lives to find him, traveling to an unknown realm because of his sacrifice. They risked hypothermia, limb-loss, frostbite, wolf attacks, falling from a cliff-

“Okay, but when Nya rammed the Land Bounty into Boreal’s chest-“ Cole said, nudging her with a grin, “That was beyond dope.”

And a dragon attack. A dragon that _he_ created, that _he_ ordered to attack the villages across the Never Realm, the dragon that could’ve killed his family because of _his_ orders. Zane jumped when he felt a hand over his, flickering his eyes over to see Kai watching him with a concerned look. 

“Are you okay?” he mouthed while Cole and Jay started to describe Boreal’s attack and Kai’s resurgence of power to decimate the ice dragon. 

Zane just smiled and waved him off. He didn’t need to bother them with his problems; they had already suffered enough, his family didn’t need to know they were sitting with a maniacal emperor. His attention returned to the present when Jay spoke up. 

“By the way, has anyone figured out how we’re gonna get back to the village?”

Nya said, “We’ll have to check to see if the Land Bounty is salvageable enough to get us back.”

“The mech is across the lake, we can check that too,” Lloyd offered. 

“I can try to summon my elemental dragon again,” Kai said. 

Zane felt his body stiffen; he was terrified to try and summon any kind of power, dragon or not. What if being the Ice Emperor was his choice? What if he knew what he was doing and allowed the yeti to be killed under his orders? He summoned Boreal, he allowed her to freeze the Formlings and the villagers by the lake- how could he face those people knowing that he was the source of their pain and suffering? That he stole their warmth, he sent the Samurai to destroy them and extinguish their fire. 

Zane’s eyes flickered up once again, catching Lloyd watching him, concerned about his daydreams. “Do you need a moment outside?” he mouthed.

Zane shook his head and forced his attention back to his family, determined not to ruin the jovial reunion. 

*

The Land Bounty was unsalvageable, a complete wreckage from top to bottom; Cole offered a meek apology as everyone turned their attention to the mech about two-hundred yards away. As the group approached the mech laying on it’s back covered in deep gashes and frostbite, Zane began to wonder how Lloyd got the mech to work when he himself couldn’t. Lloyd was not the most… technologically connected of the group, Kai was in the same subset he had to admit; but somehow he had managed not only to bring Pixal’s mech back to life but made a cross-realm journey in it. 

Zane placed a hand on Lloyd’s shoulder and in a hushed tone asked, “How did you fix the mech? What was the diagnostic that I missed?”

Lloyd let out a laugh, “The battery was dead!”

The battery was dead. There was no way that could’ve been the only diagnostic problem. If only he could’ve gotten the complete diagnostic scan. If only it hadn’t been interrupted, if only he hadn’t been followed, if only he had paid better attention to his surroundings- done a final check around the area before plugging in the wire into his central neural core, if only Vex hadn’t-

“Zane? Are you there, buddy?” Jay asked, waving his hand in front of his eyes. With a somber smile, he said, “It’s like you’re lost in another place again. Are you okay?”

“I am fine,” Zane lied through his teeth. He hated lying, he knew he wasn’t fine, but he would not let his troubles interfere with the mission. Once they were back home in Ninjago, he would truly be fine. He could put this entire year behind him and never look back. Accepting a wrench from Jay’s other hand, he and the rest of the team got to work; Zane loved working on the mech, feeling the metal and wires bend to his whim without the constant nagging in the back of his mind that he was controlling living people with free will that most likely had families that they hadn’t been able to visit while under his control- Snap out of it! He could feel his friends watching him, their worried gazes burrowing into all corners of his body, but he couldn’t say anything. How could he?

*

The mech came to rest outside of the village beside the now thawed lake as the sun rose above the shimmering steamed water. Lloyd lowered the mech’s hand allowing everyone to slide off with gentle thuds into the melting snow; Zane looked around at the children laughing and rushing around while torches flickered and licked at the warming air, adults and elderly people shuffled about across bridges or into homes and stores. 

_"You should’ve let them stay frozen,”_ a voice hissed in his ear. Zane spun around, his eyes wide and hair standing on end- yet no one was near him. The others had already started on the trek towards the village where an older woman was waving them down. _"The traitors ended your reign, they harbored the enemy, they deserved to suffer!”_

Zane shook his head and shuffled down the hillside, shrinking under the older woman’s surprisingly lively gaze. He could hear Nya introducing him as “their friend, Zane,” not “the Ice Emperor who terrorized and froze your village with no warning or reasoning”. _Hush!_ he scolded himself as he came to a stop beside Lloyd and Kai. 

“So this is the friend I’ve heard about,” the woman said, tilting her head with a glint in her eyes. She held out her hand and greeted, “Welcome Zane! I am Sorla and this is the Village of the Great Lake. I am very relieved to find that your friends were able to save you.”

“As am I,” he replied, shaking her hand. “It is wonderful to meet you.”

Sorla tugged on his arm and pulled him into a hug, he would’ve been relieved by the sudden embrace if she had not whispered, “Your eyes are haunted and your voice longs to speak. Come to my home and we can talk.”

Zane took a step back, feeling his body tremble as if he could feel ice encasing his spine, yet Sorla just smiled and turned to his friends and continued to talk as if nothing had happened. He didn’t know how much time had passed or how much of the conversation he missed before Sorla held onto his hand once more and asked if he could follow her. 

Lloyd placed a hand on his shoulder and said, “It's okay, you can trust her. We’ll be by the bridge waiting for you.”

Zane nodded and felt his body move without his consent, following the rather strange older woman through the fisherman’s village, narrowly avoiding children rushing around and playing while their screams of laughter echoed off of the wooden buildings. Sorla stood in front of the last home on the right side of the street and held the door open, gesturing him inside with a wave of her hand and a smile. Taking in a subtle deep breath, he stepped inside the home and felt a wave of warmth engulf him like Kai’s hugs. A hearth sat in the center of the room with several seats encircling the stone pit, a vent was built into the thatched ceiling high above their heads allowing the curling smoke to dissipate outside; off to the left of the entrance beside the closed windows was a lofted area most likely holding Sorla’s bed, off to the right were smoked fish hanging from a pole. Sorla closed the door behind her and sat down on one of the seats, waving him over again. 

“Do not worry, Zane from Ninjago, we are alone and your words shall not leave this home.”

Zane stared into the crackling fire, falling silent lost in his head as his thoughts raged and screamed. Could he even dare to speak? Would she trust him if she knew who he truly was? He could feel his words crawling up his throat, scratching deep inside desperate to break free. “I’m so sorry!” he wailed, unable to stop himself from crying. “I’m so sorry for your pain and suffering! I caused you harm and I froze your entire village without remorse, and I know my words are meaningless but I am so sorry for what I’ve done!” Zane bowed his head as low as he could and waited for the angered screaming, the cursing, even the banishing not only from her home but from the village itself-

“I could see the pain in your eyes, young one,” Sorla hummed, sipping from a cup of tea Zane hadn’t noticed before. “I may not know your full story, but I can tell by your heart that you are truly remorseful. The path to forgiveness is a hard one, but the true path is forgiving yourself. Your friends can tell you many times that you are forgiven, but as you said ‘words are meaningless’ until you forgive yourself. The Formling woman, Akita if I remember correctly, stopped by here a day before you and your friends arrived and told me that Vex had a large part in the Ice Emperor’s rule.”

Zane flinched at the name, curling in on himself to avoid the cold shadow that had fallen over them. 

Sorla continued, “His infamy has been known across the realm for many years, his ruthless search for vengeance and power has scavenged the far reaches of the Never Realm. From what I know, you did not know that he was around you, correct?”

Zane nodded, forcing his weak voice to say, “I thought I was alone when I arrived here. I was running a diagnostic scan on the mech when he ripped the cord from my head- all of my memories were locked away and I was reset. He told me… he told me I was the Ice Emperor-” The words felt like acid upon his tongue, his own element had been used to cause pain rather than aid those in need, he had forgotten the sole purpose for his existence. _To protect those who cannot protect themselves._ “I believed everything he told me- that the Formlings were war-mongers, that this village was harboring enemies, that everyone that wasn’t in the castle was trying to kill me. He never let me out of the castle, I hadn’t seen the sun in the year since I arrived; the only time I was allowed outside was… was to send Boreal here to freeze this village and to freeze the Formlings.”

“I must ask you, did you know what you were doing or did you understand the consequences of your actions?”

Shaking his head, he replied, “I don’t… I don’t think so. Everything felt so distant and lost, everything wanted to kill me and all I could trust was… _him._ When I awoke, thanks to Lloyd, everything came rushing back to me; my old life back in Ninjago, the horrible deeds I did here, I was overwhelmed and crushed with guilt. I could’ve killed my friend and I wouldn’t have thought twice about it.”

“But you said that you didn’t remember your old life? So, in your mental state, he could’ve been a threat to your life. If you hadn’t ‘woken up,’ he would’ve been just an enemy and you wouldn’t have thought about it again.”

He nodded, “But then my friends would’ve come to the throne room and… they would’ve seen the monster I am.”

“To be a monster, you would have no regret or remorse over your actions; Vex is a monster for he searched for power, willing to step and crush anyone beneath his feet. I can hear how sorrowful you are, you are not a monster, Zane.” Sorla took another sip and reached beside her, handing him a cup of tea. The juice inside sloshed around as he held it close to his chest. 

“Is this a mystical tea?”

Sorla let out a laugh, “Oh goodness no! The only mystical teas we have here are the Traveler’s Flowers from the North Mountain and my Spiritual powder. It helps connect us to the Spirits of the Great Lake, in fact, it was how your friends knew where to look for you. That, my friend, is chamomile lavender, soothes the mind and soul.”

Zane gave a small shrug and took a cautious sip, feeling the warm tea rush down his throat warming his body from the inside out; he couldn’t help but let out a contented sigh as his coiled-up muscles unwound themselves. Movement caught his attention outside the curtain-covered window; it was Akita talking to Lloyd. A boulder of worry crushed his stomach, freezing the tea sitting in his stomach. Akita had been on a mission to kill him since he had kidnapped her brother during the village raid, he wondered if he should talk to her about everything that had occurred. 

Sorla caught his gaze and hummed, “Formlings are known for holding grudges for years on end. I would be careful with what you decide to talk about. There is a chance she will forgive you, but she also has the right _not_ to forgive you, and you must accept that fact. No matter how much you apologize, it is up to her and her brother to decide their forgiveness.”

“I understand, Miss Sorla.”

As he sipped his tea, they fell into a surprisingly comfortable silence. He began to wonder about going home for the first time, sleeping in his old bed at the Monastery, and… and seeing Pixal again. He missed his beloved with every fiber of his being; in the few weeks he was alone before… before he lost himself, he dreamed of her every night. Her smile, the glow in her eyes, her silver moonlit hair, the softness in her voice when she said his name. He missed her. He missed her so much. “Miss Sorla, when do you think my friends and I can return home?”

“You would need to talk to your friends about that, and I would have to talk with the Spirits of the Hearth. Your realm is far from here so it would take quite a lot of magic to carry all of you home. Talk to your friends about this and we shall check back in later.” As Zane stood up, handing her the empty cup, she said, “Oh, one last thing- I can tell you and your friends are very close, do not keep this hidden from them. It will only harm you the longer it’s trapped inside.”

*

That night, Zane confessed everything to his family. It was heartbreaking for Zane to see his friends terrified expressions at his crimes, to watch him break down in tears pleading for their forgiveness, that he had not only betrayed them but everything they had stood for. He could not believe that they would be hugging him, each crying gentle tears into his hair or shoulders. 

“We could never hate you, Zane,” Nya murmured. 

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was Vex, he messed with you.”

He felt Kai lean in close and whisper, “I know what it’s like to feel out of control, to be under the influence of an all-powerful staff, to be manipulated by an other-worldly force. It haunts you, but you have to learn from it. If the others can forgive me, if Lloyd and Skylor can forgive me for almost killing them, then I know the others will forgive you.”

Zane just bowed his head and sobbed, yet relief and love flowed through his veins. He had his family, he was safe, and he knew that he was going home one way or another.


	3. In a Loved One's Arms

Kai pulled Zane aside that night, still worried over his confession over his horrific deeds; within the shadows of the moonlit room, the pair sat with their backs to each other comfortable at the lack of eye-contact. Kai leaned his head back onto Zane’s shoulder and said, “I meant what I said earlier, but I wanted us to have a better talk in private.”

Zane’s head drooped, his usually tall hair seemed limp and lifeless hanging in front of his forehead and eyes. “How can you all forgive me so easily? After everything I told you? Everything I did…?”

“Zane, I think we’ve all done some bad shit during the last ten years or so. Jay and Nya kept a parallel timeline where we all died secret for a while, Lloyd unleashed the serpentine because he wanted candy, and I-“ Kai let out a laugh. “I almost killed Lloyd and Skylor because I was overcome with power from an elemental staff. I lost my mind, I couldn’t see what I was doing, I didn’t even know where I was. All I could hear… all I could hear were voices urging me on. _Do it, Kai. You can’t let anyone stand in your way. You can be the most powerful, you can finally protect your family, you can…”_ His voice faltered, Zane could feel Kai roll his head towards his. _”You can finally protect Nya._ ”

Zane was at a loss for words. Kai never talked about his experiences with the Staff of Elements to anyone, he didn’t know if Nya herself knew what was going through his head; anytime Chen’s island or the Fake-condrai were brought up, Zane always noticed that Kai would grow silent and distant, his gaze lost in another time. Was this what he was acting like when he was reunited with his dear family?

“My demons were in my head and left hand, yours were at and in your right side; even Lloyd knows what it’s like having a demon in his head, but we have to understand that we have to learn from these monsters that reside in our minds. If we continue to listen to them then they will win and we lose ourselves; our enemies, everyone we’ve ever fought has lost to those demons. Chen’s demons were his lust for power and war; Garmadon’s was the venom and Oni blood in his veins; Morro and Harumi were vengeances, distrust, and hatred, scars of their pasts.”

“And the Overlord?” Zane semi-joked. 

“He was just a dick.”

For the first time in over a year, Zane laughed- not just a normal chuckle from one of Jay’s rather horrible jokes, but a deep within the chest belt out laugh that lightened his heart. One that he hadn’t had longer than a year, maybe since before the Stone Colossus attacked the city years before. He could feel Kai grinning at his joyous laughter, knowing without a doubt that it was needed to not only lighten the mood but Zane’s conscious. 

“The monster that manipulated you was irredeemable; he knew what he was doing and he was never going to stop no matter the pain he caused to you or the realm. What you did might have been through your hands or your voice, but I know you, Zane Nicholi Julien- you trusted him, you saw him as a friend, and you believed that he had the best intentions for you. You had no idea where you were, he was the first person to find you and you trusted him. He is the true monster, not you, and you need to understand that. I thought that I was a monster for months after the Elements incident, but I had to teach myself that I was manipulated, that I fought for myself that day to protect and to break free from that pain.”

“But I didn’t break free. I was the Ice Emperor for a year, I allowed an entire race of yeti to be killed, I froze two innocent villages!”

“But did you yourself order it? Or was Vex influencing you, pushing you, coercing you into causing these events?”

Zane thought back to the numerous conversations he had with his manipulative right-hand man. _”Strangers from a distant realm come to challenge you. They may be here for the prisoner, and to defy your rule… They must be destroyed. Show them your might. Show them what happens to those who defy the Emperor… Punish him, my Lord, for his deceit… What of the villagers who defy you? They plot, even now, to overthrow you. And the stranger in green. He grows closer every day. What of him?… You are plagued by enemies. They rise. You must show strength. You must put down these usurpers…”_ To his times with Lloyd in the throne room. _”He seeks to deceive you. To confuse you… Behold his treachery. One moment he speaks of friendship, and the next, he tries to steal your scepter. Allow me to destroy him, my Lord!…”_ Vex made him think the world was his enemy while his true demon stood only a few feet to his right, he wanted to cause Zane paranoia and fear with every slime-filled word that escaped his cracked corpse-like lips. 

_He opened his eyes, his body and mind rebooting after a strange shutdown protocol had been enacted though he had no idea where he was… or who he was. A man stood in front of him, his face shifting from confusion to glee at his awakening. “Hello?”_

_“Hello,” the man replies with a gleam in his eyes. He was lost and confused, but this man might be able to help him. Perhaps he was even a friend._

_“I am sorry- where am I? Who are you?”_

_The man looked crestfallen, placing a hand on his chest in shock. “Don’t you remember? I am Vex.”_

_He started to feel a flicker of hope in his chest, “Are we… friends?”_

_The man smiled brighter and bowed his head low, almost falling to a knee. “Most certainly, I am your loyal advisor.”_

_He took a step back, looking around at the ice-covered cavern; he was at a complete loss, his head swimming and his knees feeling weak. “But… who am I?”_

_Vex’s face fell once more, Oh, such a pity. You truly have forgotten. You're unwell, my Lord, but do not fear. I will take care of you. It is my sworn duty.”_

_“Your duty…?”_

_With surprising force and certainty, Vex sealed his identity with one final grin. “You are the Ice Emperor, the ruler of this realm.”_

Zane turned his head to face Kai’s, feeling a weight lift off of his chest once more, “I was… I was manipulated right from the start, from our very first meeting. He fed me lies, filled me with paranoia, he made me think I would always be in danger unless I eliminated the threats. Every conversation we had, he urged me to send out our… my soldiers, or my dragon, against his enemies. I didn’t know I was causing harm to innocent people, I didn’t know what I was doing was wrong.” He fell silent for a moment, barely allowing the next words to pass by his icy lips. “How could I have known?”

“That’s the thing,” Kai said. “You couldn’t have known. When Wu first found you, even before that- when you had no memories and were living at that village in the Birchwood Forest, you trusted those people to guide you when you had no path. You put your faith in those around you, just like you did here. I’m so sorry you were on your own for all that time, we tried to find you as soon as we could, but we were too late.”

“You came for me; that means more than all of the Realms combined.” Zane rolled his head so that he was staring up at the ceiling, but he had a smile on his face. “The First Spinjitzu Master, or the Monks in Cloud Kingdom- whoever is out there watching over us blessed me with the best family I could’ve asked for.”

“If those monks are still controlling our destinies, someone’s got some answering to do.”

“Perhaps we can make a stop through the realms on our way home?”

“I would like that very much.”

*

Zane stared at the roaring portal in front of him, his heart thundering in his throat as Kai and Nya held onto his hands. It was finally time for him to head home. He glanced over his shoulder at Cole talking to his Yeti friend (Krag? Craig?), Lloyd talking to Akita and Kataru, and Sorla smiling at him. She had given him a knapsack filled with a glass jar of traveler’s tea flowers and berries (more for decoration, he really did not want to travel to another realm for a long time), a blanket that Sorla herself made, and a small bag of sweets. A note had also been tucked inside, a note written with motherly love and care reminding him to be strong in the face of darkness and doubt. 

Nya grinned at him and asked, “Are you ready?”

“We’re gonna be with you till you’re the other side, safe and sound,” Kai said, giving his hand a squeeze. 

He faced the portal as Jay disappeared within the swirling smoke. He was ready to see Pixal again, ready to sleep in a real bed with her by his side, and he was ready to tell her that he loved her. With a deep breath, he said, “I’m ready.” Without looking back, Zane, Kai, and Nya walked through the portal and stepped foot back in their beloved Monastery. The sun shone brighter than any other time in his life, the sky brighter than on a winter’s day, the paint on the monastery’s walls were too vivid for his adjusting eyes, yet one sight filled him with serenity. Zane barely had time to release Kai and Nya’s hands before Pixal leaped into his arms, holding her tight he laughed and spun her around, loving every second of her embrace. 

“Zane!” Pixal cried repeatedly, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. 

Tears started to brim and waver, spilling over like an overflowed dam as he started to sob. Mindless words of love blubbered from his lips, falling to his knees yet never letting her go; he did not know how long he knelt there with Pixal in his embrace, or him in her embrace, but he felt the portal close behind him as the other ninjas were welcomed back by Master Wu. He could hear someone giving a brief insight into what happened, catching a passing mention of execution for Vex, but he didn’t care. Zane was ready to return to his normal life with his family and his beloved Pixal once more. 

*

Zane jolted awake with a scream, massive spires and shards of neon blue and black ice jutted out from around his bed, covering the entirety of the room in frost and snow; his body was cold, his heart racing at the nightmare burned in his mind, reoccurring nightmares that he prayed would go away yet after a week of being home they had no intention of leaving. Glowing green eyes lit up beside him as Pixal sat up, brushing aside her wild hair before resting her head on his trembling shoulder. 

“More nightmares?”

“I’m so sorry for waking you,” Zane murmured, his breath still shaky and lost. 

“Zane, this is the eighth nightmare in six days. You have to seek help soon, or it might just get worse.” Pixal reached up and caressed his cheek, brushing aside streams of tears he had previously been unaware of. “What you went through wasn’t easy, and I know you’ve been doing everything you can to avoid thinking about it even after confronting it with the Ninja, but you need help.”

“How can I explain what I went through to a therapist?”

“You need to try, if you don’t seek help you’re only going to keep damaging yourself.”

Falling silent, he glanced around at the room- the gleaming spires that continually sprung up around their bed, the frost crackling and melting across the walls, and the picture of Pixal and himself on their last date before Aspheera broke free. The picture always remained untouched by his ice, no matter how bad his nightmares raged. If he refused help, the spires might actually break out of their room, they might not melt, they might grow uncontrollable… If he did seek help, would the others think of him as weak? No, they never would, how could he ever think of his friends like that?

“If it makes you feel better, I could… I could come with you?”

Zane blinked in surprise. “You would do that?”

Pixal’s gaze fell, “I’ve been thinking about it. While you were gone and the Ninja were gone, Wu and I… we tried opening portals to find you, and we accidentally opened a gateway to the Departed Realm. The Preeminent escaped and I had to fight her alone. I almost killed myself overloading my mech with enough energy to defeat her.”

Zane wanted to scream. His beloved almost died while he was gone?! If something had gone wrong on either side of the portal, they never would have seen each other again. 

Pixal continued, “It was seeing you again that kept me alive, but I had terrors for days on end, flashbacks to horrors I’ve witnessed since the day the Overlord virus took over. I know the others could use aid, but that is also for them to decide on their own terms. If you are willing, I think we both need it.”

Zane looked at Pixal, her eyes pleading for him to agree yet she waited for his own decision. If it meant protecting her, if it meant helping his family and keeping them safe, if it meant helping himself… “I’ll do it. We can look into it tomorrow, I promise.”

Pixal grinned and rested her head on his chest, easing him back onto the bed. “Thank you, Zane. It can be for a few sessions, and if you are not happy with it we can stop.”

Zane hummed and started running his fingers through her hair, feeling serene and safe with her by his side. Pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head, he murmured sleepily, “Pixal, I love you.”

As he drifted off into a calm nightmare sleep, Pixal murmured back, “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was a good fix-it/character analysis for Zane since Season 12 was a coward and refused to address the previous season.


End file.
